WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?
Little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between The sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his Pants and says, “Something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, Runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mom said, with this, I can have as many of those as I want!” .
I’LL EXPLAIN AFTER YOU
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and inthose 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. Embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”.
MAN IN, A BIKE TO COME
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. He peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I
need a bike! I need a bike!”
IT’S THE WRONG SIZE
“Babe is it in?” “Yea.” “Does it hurt?” “Uh huh.” “Let me put it in slowly.” “It still hurts.” “Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”
A CLEAN CHEESE SANDWICH
Guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.” The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”
NOT CUTTING FOR ANYONE
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
HARD FOR A CHANGE
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”
Q: Why is sex like math?
A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.