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The Ideal Family Home

The world is becoming dangerous to live in because of mankind’s disobedience of God’s Manual for human life – the Bible. Among the consequences of disobedience is the divorce rate is now increasing to about 50-50.

Meaning for every 100 couples, 50 will end in divorce, producing delinquent children and increasing number of teen-age pregnancies and teen-age fathers.

The primary reason why children embrace society worldly lifestyles like: teen-age pregnancies, teen-age delinquencies, drug addictions, divorce, common-law relationships is the inability of parents to train their children to live God’s way of life as written in the Bible.

Most parents are occupied with the things of this world like: worldly possessions and pleasures of the world. They are oblivious that this life is only temporary – that sooner or later we will go back to the ground (die) where we came from.

Parents should be the role models of their children in living godly lives.
Proverbs 22:6 New Century Version
6 Train children to live the right way, and when they are old, they will not stray from it.
The word: “the right way” is according to God’s principles on how to live godly lives. No one can better train children than parents for they have complete control over them (24/7) while they are young. The church role is to only assist parents in training their children. Without parents’ cooperation the church can do nothing.

If teen-age pregnancy is even a pressing problem in the Philippines (in recent Philippine news), much more in industrialized countries like: Canada, U.S. and Europe.

Parents, however, could not train their children God’s way if they themselves are not living godly lives. They are supposed to be the living examples for their children to follow like: study the Bible and pray regularly, go to church every worship day on time, participate in church activities, and share the gospel (good news of salvation) to others.

Again, for parents to expect their children to listen to them, they need to be the living examples of living godly lives. It is God’s desires for every family to have an ideal home.

The home God established in Eden
Genesis 2:8-10 New King James Version (NKJV)
8 The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. 9 And out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 10 Now a river went out of Eden to water the garden, and from there it parted and became four riverheads.
The passage says, before God created man, He first created everything in the Garden of Eden to provide all the needs of Adam and Eve. That is a demonstration of God’s love. We have the same God today who sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our salvation.

The woman was created to help man
Genesis 2:18-24 New King James Version (NKJV)
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to [a ]Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the Lord God caused
a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He [b] made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called [c]Woman, Because she was taken out of [d]Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be[e] joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Sometimes the home is unhappy. Hereunder are the responsibilities of each family member to make a home happy.

1. The duty of the woman (wife)
1 Peter 3:1 New King James Version (NKJV)
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives”

Submissive, means respectful. Even if a husband is not a believer, the godly conduct of a wife could encourage a husband to become Jesus Christ’s follower.

However, a wife should not just follow her husband’s wishes if they are inconsistent with God’s principles as written in the Bible. Christians must live for an audience of one. That is to make God happy by making Him our number one priority by following biblical principles not worldly or ungodly ways of life.

Ephesians 5:22-23 New King James Version (NKJV)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

The passage means the husband is the spiritual leader of a home. When a husband does his role as a spiritual leader (following godly principles), a wife should listen to her husband. If a husband is not exercising his spiritual leadership, wife should follow God, not the ungodly wishes of her husband.

2. The duty of the man (husband)
Ephesians 5:25-29 New King James Version (NKJV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [a] sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Verse 25 means the love of a husband to his wife should be the same love as Jesus gave to the church (His faithful followers) that He died for His followers to save them from eternal death.

1 Peter 3:7 New King James Version (NKJV)
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Husband must live with the wife.

In Ephesians 5:22 it says “wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord”. The passage, in 1 Peter 3:7, God says, “husband likewise, dwell with your wife with understanding …”.

Meaning, husband should not be a dictator at home by just dictating to his wife what to do and not listening to her ideas. Before making important decisions husbands should listen to the wives point of views not just to ignore them. If possible important decisions should be agreed by both husband and wife.

3. Duty of Children
Ephesians 6:1-3 New King James Version (NKJV)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

God commanded children to honor/respect their father and mother. This is the commandment with a promise. The promise is “That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

It means if children follow the instructions and teachings of godly parents to protect them from harm and danger like: not to get involved in drug addictions, gambling, drunkenness and other worldly pleasures, by following the instructions and teachings could help children live longer lives.

4. Duty of Parents
Proverbs 22:6 New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go, [a] And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Most parents believe that if they can provide their children food, clothing, shelter and education, they have fulfilled their duties as parents. True! They have provided their children’s physical and material needs.

If parents provide their children’s physical and material needs which are temporary (for we all die), the more they should provide their children’s spiritual need for it is eternal, for God will create New Heaven and New Earth for His faithful followers (Isaiah 65:17).

Parents should train and discipline their children God’s way, for them to be part of God’s family in the New Heaven and New Earth. Again, parents could not teach and discipline their children God’s way of life, if they themselves, do not live godly lives. Parents should be the role models for their children in living godly lives.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 New King James Version (NKJV)
5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your 
heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

The above passage, God commanding parents, how, when and where to teach their children. The passage means, parents should teach their children God’s way of life all the time, not only once a while. Teaching them not only by their words but also in their actions (godly life) that they can see in them all the time.

Proverbs 23:13-14 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from [a] hell.

When a child does something wrong, parents should correct their child. Otherwise, he/she thinks what he/she is doing is right though it is wrong. 
To spank a child is biblical provided parents will spank their child in a loving way, not in anger and let their child knows that doing wrong things are not acceptable.

Ephesians 6:4 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

When children already understand what is right and wrong, parents have to teach them to follow what is right in the eyes of God not what is right in the eyes of the world.

When children have the capacity to understand, parents should not discipline them without letting them know why they (parents) have to discipline them. Otherwise, parents are provoking their children to be mad at them..

What destroys a home?
Proverbs 20:1 New King James Version (NKJV)
Wine is a mocker, Strong drink is a brawler, And whoever is led astray by it is not wise.
A mocker means fake or artificial, while a brawler means trouble -maker. When you are drunk, you no longer act normally because you are intoxicated by the spirit of the wine and you can become a brawler or trouble maker. Too much alcohol can damage the function of your brain.

Proverbs 23:29-35 New King James Version (NKJV)
29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? 30 Those who linger long at the wine, Those who go in search of mixed wine. 31 Do not look on the wine when it is red, When it sparkles in the cup, When it [a]swirls around smoothly; 32 At the last it bites like a serpent, And stings like a viper. 33 Your eyes will see strange things, And your heart will utter perverse things. 34 Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the [b]midst of the sea, Or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying: 35 “They have struck 
me, but I was not hurt; They have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?”

The above passage means, too much wine dulls the senses and limits clear judgment. It lowers the capacity for self – control and impairs person’s efficiency.

An alcoholic is lost. He dishonors the home.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [a] homosexuals,
nor [b]sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
It means, we must not participate in sin or condone it in anyway, nor should we be selective about what we condemn or excuse. God expects His followers in any generation to have high standard of godly living.

The bread of idleness destroys happiness. A man must work to support the family.
2 Thessalonians 3:6-12 New King James Version (NKJV)
6 But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which [a] he received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; 8 nor did we eat anyone’s bread [b] free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, 9 not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. 10 For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. 11 For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now those who are such we command and [c] exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.

The above passage says that as God’s followers we should not be lazy. We should not be dependent upon others when we are able to work. Paul is very emphatic, that if anyone who is able to work and does not work, that person should not eat. When a husband and wife are lazy, the husband being the primary bread – winner, a home is not happy.

The ideal family home is when all members of the family do their respective duties and responsibilities outlined in the above passages. 
We cannot follow God’s commands/principles without the power of the Holy Spirit. We can only have the Holy Spirit if we have genuine faith in Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

About the Author

Adam Aspilla is an Executive Director of Word Became Flesh Ministries (WBFM) a non-denominational Christian church. He has a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (BSBA) from University of the East, Manila Philippines, studied law in the same university, and has a Master of Divinity (MDiv.) from Tyndale University & Seminary, in Toronto, Canada. He also operates the Debt Clinic of Canada Inc., and author of the books: “You Can Negotiate All Your Debts” and “51 Frequently Asked Bible Questions.” He also writes a column on “Personal Finance” in this paper. WBFM is at 1180 Unit 1 Mid-Way Blvd. Mississauga ON. Website: www. wbfmfamily.com and Telephone:905-565-1346.


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