‘They don’t represent me’: LGBTQ Muslims, allies speak out after ‘parental rights’ protests

Muslims across Canada say the current political climate is dangerous for young people from Muslim backgrounds, in light of heated protests and statements last month over schools teaching gender identity.

Last week, the Muslim Association of Canada (MAC) — which says it represents 55,000 people in B.C., Alberta, Ontario and Quebec — posted a statement online calling for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, school boards, unions and “some media outlets” to apologize for “characterizing the peaceful protests of thousands of concerned parents as hateful.”

“On Wednesday September 20th, thousands of Muslims, joined by other faith-based groups, protested to raise their concerns, calling for their rights as parents in relation to their children’s education,” reads the statement. “The statements from Canadian leaders and school boards increase the potential for Muslim children to face increased bullying and harassment in schools, both by educators and peers.”

The statement garnered hundreds of responses on X (formerly known as Twitter), Instagram and Facebook. It also has the support of Conservative Party Leader Pierre Poilievre and was shared by Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe.

MAC has said it wants schools to acknowledge religious rights and believes “mandated celebration or affirmation of LGBTQ, including direct or indirect impositions to participate in ‘Pride’ events and activities, constitutes an infringement on the legal rights of Muslims.”

MAC declined a CBC interview request, saying they “will not be making any more comments at this time.”

In response to a question on Thursday about whether he would retract his statement based on MAC’s calls, Trudeau said he will always stand against intolerance when it exists. He also noted, “I never suggested that someone who is concerned about parental rights is somehow filled with hate and intolerance.”

While MAC warned that Muslim children are at risk of bullying due to their parents’ opposition to LGBTQ education, several queer Muslims and allies warn that by advocating for students to be able to opt out of an LGBTQ curriculum, Muslim support of the “parental rights” movement is harming queer Muslims, because it ignores their existence.

“For me, as a gay Muslim … they don’t represent me,” said one Ontario man, who CBC News is not naming out of concern for backlash against his family. “I find it really disgusting to see such a statement and their support of hatred. I believe this goes against the message of Islam.”

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Featured VideoWhen asked whether he would retract his tweet supporting LGBTQ people after calls from the Muslim Association of Canada to do so, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said he will always stand against intolerance and that spinning his message as an attack on any group is divisive.

School boards step up support

Curriculums on sexual orientation and gender identity vary by province, but by and large, they are informed by research showing LGBTQ people students experience higher rates of homelessness and suicide.

In the wake of the protests, multiple school boards issued statements supporting LGBTQ students.

“In our schools, we do not tell students who they should be, but welcome them as they are,” read a Sept. 19 statement from the Toronto District School Board. “We do this by focusing on their academic learning and fostering feelings of belonging as expected in the Ontario curriculum and the Ontario Human Rights Code.”

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Featured VideoAlex Harris, a transgender student in Riverview, N.B., says he wanted to attend a counter-protest over LGBTQ rights in school but decided against it because he didn’t feel it was safe.

Discussions around gender identity and LGBTQ acceptance in schools have been stirring for years.

This year, Saskatchewan and New Brunswick introduced rules requiring parental consent for students under 16 to change their pronouns. The moves have been challenged in court, with advocates and teachers’ unions saying they’re harmful for transgender and non-binary children.

Resistance to LGBTQ education and gender identity in Canadian schools comes from people from a variety of faiths and socially conservative groups, and it’s growing, said Momin Rahman, a sociology professor at Trent University in Peterborough, Ont.

He said MAC’s stance ignores queer Muslim children who, like other LGBTQ minors, might experience discrimination and bullying if not for education in schools.

“We have to recognize that Islamophobia is a real thing in Canada,” Rahman said.

“But it’s striking to me that [MAC are] also not considering the fact that there’s lots of research [and] evidence showing that children who start to question their gender identity or their sexuality also suffer from discrimination and harassment and bullying in schools. That’s been the motivation for a lot of educational policy … to make schools [an] inclusive environment for everybody.”

CBC reached out to the National Council of Canadian Muslims for their stance on this issue, but they did not respond in time for publication.

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During a rally in Whitehorse, Pierre Poilievre declined to answer questions from CBC News about whether he supports the policy.

Familial estrangement

For the last decade, Rahman’s research has included interviews with roughly 40 queer Muslims in Canada.

Rahman, who is gay and from a Muslim background himself, said coming out of the closet “isn’t really that different for queer Muslims than it is for any queer people.” But one of the things his interviewees cited as a problem “was that there was no public discussion of queerness in their Muslim communities.”

When the Ontario man who spoke to CBC came out to his family, many members were accepting. He said loved ones helped him learn more about his religion, and he said he “found beautiful acceptance” within Islam. But others were less supportive.

“I did get bad responses and, like, trying to be convinced to go to conversion therapy or…. it was getting blamed on being in the West,” he said.

Omar Kinnarath, a community organizer in Winnipeg and former candidate for city council, said when his brother came out as gay, the immediate family was supportive, but they faced judgment and shame from others in the Muslim community.

“Going into … our wider community, that’s where it becomes an issue,” Kinnarath said. “These communities are so small and tight-knit that a lot of folks don’t want to speak out [in support of LGBTQ rights] because of the repercussions that come onto their own families.”

Rahman said familial estrangement is a big fear among the people he has interviewed for his research and upcoming book, titled Queer/Muslim/Canadian.

“We have some [research] participants who … were out to their immediate family, [had] various levels of acceptance there, but there was a real desire for that not to become more widely known within the community, because it would cause problems for their family,” Rahman said.

The latest available poll on the subject, according to Rahman, was done by Environics in 2016, and found that 36 per cent of the Canadian Muslim population said “homosexuality should be accepted by society,” compared to 80 per cent in the general population.

A need for intersectionality

Ghada Sasa, a Muslim PhD candidate at McMaster University in Hamilton, said the recent rallies attended by Muslim people and statements issued by Muslim leaders have made it more dangerous for LGBTQ people.

“It was disappointing and just sad that Muslim leaders and organizations in the name of Islam are basically perpetuating queerphobic, transphobic arguments that align with the far right,” Sasa said.

The Ontario man says increasing rhetoric against LGBTQ education from socially conservative and far-right groups has given some Muslim leaders the space to publicly do the same.

Several people CBC spoke to — and one who declined to be interviewed — said queer communities have also been guilty of Islamophobia and racism, leaving LGBTQ Muslims to deal with discrimination inside and outside their community.

Across the board, those who spoke to CBC worry about the well-being of young people.

“The worst fear, and we have this documented as well, is that lots of young queer people self-harm because they feel so isolated,” Rahman said.

For Kinnarath, bridging cultural gaps between newcomers and Canadian school boards is an important step.

“School boards in general should do a better job messaging what they’re actually doing in the native languages of these different communities, because I think that’s what’s getting lost,” he said. “There’s propaganda in the WhatsApp groups, in the Facebook groups, that’s multilingual. School communications only come out in French and English.”

Rahman and the Ontario man advise young Muslims questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity to seek out online resources specifically for Muslim LGBTQ people, which may help them find support networks in their own community.

For those who want more parental oversight of the gender identity curriculum, the Ontario man has a different message.

“Whether parents like it or not, many kids in these households everywhere are gay or trans,” he said. “A lot of parents have to make the decision: you forget about your relationship with your child or you accept them as they are, and that’s it.”